Long apron strings

My two eldest children left home several years ago and they do extremely well in the big world fending for themselves. They are both older than I was when I got married and started a family and yet your children are always your children. I am very old and even my mum tells me that your children are always your children.

What does this mean? It means that when one of your daughters calls you from the UK to ask for some medical advice and you know that it could be serious and that they need to see a doctor NOW, you are helpless to do anything to help them because you are on the other side of the world. I could have been in the UK and still been unable to do much to help at the time because it can take quite a few hours to get almost anywhere in the UK, especially across London.

What I have discovered over the years is that apron strings are very long and that I probably hold onto them more than my two eldest children. I love being their mum and I am very attached to them both, and indeed all five of my children. I am delighted that they left home and have made great lives for themselves and I love being in regular touch with them. But it also means that when one of them really needs me I am not always able to be of much help other than some advice and lots of support from the other end of a telephone.

You spend years teaching them how to become independent, responsible adults that contribute to society and their community, and as I once read, someone you wouldn't mind being stuck in a lift with. You spend years encouraging them to be independent, to learn how to deal with situations on their own and to cope with adversity when it comes their way. You also hope that they will cook rather than live off take-away food, wash their clothes, change their bed, clean their abode and brush their teeth. After all that you watch them set off into that big wide world full of opportunities, possibilities and potential danger and hope that they will be happy and fulfilled.

I was once asked what I wanted all my children to be. I replied that I wanted them all to be happy. The question was clarified and I was asked what careers I wanted for them all. Again, I replied that I wanted them to be happy and if this meant that they choose to do a job that required no formal training or tertiary education that was fine so long as it was their choice and not through lack of opportunity.

I still want that for all my children but I also realise that I would like to be able to be there for them when they really need me. Whilst it is up to them to develop lives that offer them plenty of opportunities to be happy and fulfilled I know that I can't be there for them at any given moment. They cope with this much better than I do.

As I said, your children are always your children, and sometimes those apron strings go all the way round the world but they are the strongest strings ever made. And my daughter? She did need medical attention and now she is fine. She coped marvellously all by herself.

love
Sarah